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Rest as Warfare: Why Your Exhaustion is Part of the Plan


We have spent the last two weeks talking about war. We have talked about fighting the school-to-prison pipeline, fighting for literacy, fighting for IEPs, and fighting for our sons' futures.

And if you are like most of the mothers I talk to, you are tired. Not just "need a nap" tired. You are soul-tired. You are bone-weary. You feel guilty for sitting down because there is always another email to write or another battle to fight.

But today, I want to tell you a secret about the system we are up against: It is counting on your exhaustion. Institutions operate on a strategy of Attrition. They know that if they make the process long enough, confusing enough, and tiring enough, you will eventually just sign the paper to make it stop.

They aren't just managing your child; they are managing your stamina. That is why today, we are declaring that Rest is not a luxury. Rest is Warfare.

Black History Spotlight: The Conjure Woman and The General

When we are taught about Harriet Tubman, we are usually given a sanitized image: a nice Christian lady who quietly led people north. But the truth is much deeper, darker, and more powerful. Harriet Tubman wasn't just a conductor; she was a Mystic and a master of what our ancestors called Rootwork.

1. The "Disability" Was a Portal
As a teenager, Harriet was hit in the head with a 2-pound weight by an overseer. It crushed her skull and caused lifelong temporal lobe epilepsy. She would suffer from "spells" where she would drop into a deep sleep in the middle of a conversation or a forest. To the overseers, this looked like a weakness. But Harriet knew better. It was during these forced periods of rest that she left her body. She said her spirit would fly over the fields, looking down at the rivers and towns. When she woke up, she possessed Divine Intel. She knew exactly which roads were safe, where the slave catchers were hiding, and which house would open its door. Her power didn't come from her running; it came from her resting. Her "brain damage" was actually her direct line to God.

2. The Rootworker in the Woods
Harriet didn't use GPS; she used the "Old Ways."

  • Nature as Language: She could read the moss on the trees to find North. She mimicked the calls of owls to signal safety to her passengers—if the "owl" hooted three times, it was safe to move.

  • The Water Lily Cure: During the Civil War, while working as a nurse for the Union, soldiers were dying of dysentery. White doctors were helpless. Harriet went into the swamp, found water lilies and crane’s bill (geranium), and boiled them into a bitter tonic. The soldiers who drank it lived. She didn't need a medical degree; she had the roots.

3. From Conductor to General (The Combahee Raid)
After the Railroad, she didn't retire. She went to war. In 1863, she became the first woman in American history to lead an armed assault. She guided Union gunboats up the Combahee River in South Carolina. Because of her "visions" and her ability to read the water, she guided the ships around Confederate mines that would have blown them apart. In one night, she liberated over 700 enslaved people. And she didn't just free them; she watched the plantations burn.

4. The Final Sanctuary
In her later years, Harriet understood that a warrior cannot fight forever. She turned her attention to a new mission: Rest for the Weary. She purchased land in Auburn, New York, and opened the Harriet Tubman Home for the Aged. She spent her final decades caring for formerly enslaved people who were too old, too sick, or too tired to work. She understood that after a lifetime of trauma, our people deserved a soft place to land.

Harriet teaches us that the battle has seasons. There is a time to run, a time to burn it down, and a time to sit on the porch and let the spirit restore you.

The "24-Hour Rule" (Don't Sign While Tired)

The most dangerous thing you can do in an IEP meeting or a disciplinary hearing is to make a decision when you are exhausted. When your cortisol is high and your energy is low, your brain goes into "survival mode." You become agreeable just to escape the room.

The Strategy: Adopting the "24-Hour Rule." No matter what they offer you—a plea deal, a placement change, a behavior plan—you never sign it in the room.

  • The Script: "I need to go home, rest, and review this with a fresh mind. I will return this document in 24 hours."

  • The Why: You are buying yourself time to regulate your nervous system. You are taking the power back from their urgency.

Rest is a Weapon

This weekend, your homework is to do absolutely nothing related to the school system.

  • Close the laptop.

  • Put the IEP binder in a drawer.

  • Turn off the phone notifications.

The enemy of your peace wants you frantic. A frantic mother makes mistakes. A rested mother receives visions. Go to sleep. The war will still be there on Monday, but you will be sharper when you wake up.

Be like Harriet. Let the visions come.

If you want to read more for your own knowledge or to defend the "Hoodoo" angle, these are the best sources:

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